


feeling blue, let me hold you

by goldendawns



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Smoking, no beta we die like men, not sure what's going to be the direction of this but i just had to post it, only for a bit, soobin is there to figure them out with him, wow i cannot tag, yeonbin are aged up here, yeonjun is going through some things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldendawns/pseuds/goldendawns
Summary: Yeonjun takes a deep breath before saying it, like he has rehearsed it a hundred times on his head."Do you love me?"
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	feeling blue, let me hold you

**Author's Note:**

> this is really short and vague but i'd just like to post this here. im still in the middle of trying to study yeonbin dynamics so i can write more in the future lol have mercy on me thanks! (comment are appreciated hehe)

Dimly lit room, dark walls, blue curtains. The windows were covered with droplets of rain, and the only thing that could be seen outside was a blur of fog and lights. The city was still asleep but the sound of the cold and strong wind kept them company.

Despite this, Yeonjun still feels safe even though it wasn't something he's used to wake up to. He glances at the snoring figure on his right sprawled all over the bed and tried fighting the blush forming on his cheeks as he remembered what happened just a few hours ago.

The way his rough yet gentle hands touched his skin, the sweet nothings he whispered throughout, body worship that got him on the edge of bliss and the reassuring kisses that he gave Yeonjun, telling that everything would be okay.

He wonders why Soobin always stays. Not that he doesn't want him to, it's just that he finds it unbelievable that someone would find the patience not to leave him.

Everyone will leave, it's always that way. Plus, he's a mess--nobody wants a mess.

He reaches out for his cigarette case on the bedside table and lights up a stick, inhaling the smoke and feeling the burning sensation in his lungs; it's one of the few things that reminds Yeonjun that he's here, that he exists. He stays like that for a while, enjoying the silence and the peaceful view of the outside. 

It's only a matter of time that he goes back to reality, and maybe all of this would soon be gone.

"So nice to see you awake, even your back looks so beautiful."

Yeonjun turns to see Soobin looking at him with sleepy eyes. "Hey."

"You're so cold." Soobin answered with a pout. He laughs and laid beside him again; Soobin brushes the wild bed hair out of his face. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." He flatly answers and takes the cigarette again to his lips. Soobin already knows how to interpret that, and doesn't bother to ask further. He just kisses his forehead and pulls him closer. He also takes the cigarette from Yeonjun, doing a few more puffs before tossing it on the ashtray.

>>

Soobin feels Yeonjun lazily tracing his arms with his fingers until it intertwined with his own. He knows that something is wrong; They've already known each other for a long time for him not to notice.

"What are you thinking about?"

Yeonjun looks up to him like a deer in headlights, like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and looks away. "Nothing."

Soobin knows better than to push Yeonjun into talking about himself, but they're both aware that they have to talk about it eventually.

So he _tries_. This time Soobin lays on his side, making sure that he's facing him and looks at Yeonjun in the eyes. He suddenly looks a bit scaredㅡvulnerable even, and it breaks Soobin's heart. "Please tell me whats bothering you."

>>

Yeonjun takes a deep breath before saying it, like he has rehearsed it a hundred times on his head.

_"Do you love me?"_

>>

"Of course I do, silly. What made you think of that?"

It wasn't because of pity, Soobin reminds himself. It was never because of pity.

Soobin knew that from the first day they met he was already the one (as stupid and as hopelessly romantic it may sound). 

There were a lot of things about Yeonjun that attracts him so much and the fact that he can't define properly what those are doesn't matter anymore. _He loves Yeonjun._ That's just it.

Soobin grew up receiving a lot of love, and he knows the reason why the older's being like this is because somewhere deep beneath his strong exterior, Yeonjun is fighting his demons.

Demons that tell him that he isn't enough, that he is not worth of any love. And Soobin knows this because he's been with Yeonjun for a long time, and has promised that he will always stay beside himㅡto help him.

It's okay, Soobin thinks. If no one can give Yeonjun the love he needs then he will.

>>

Yeonjun bites his lip. "Sometimes I doubt if this--what we have, is real. You know that you're not supposed to be here with me, Soobin. This isn't right. We're not-"

He suddenly feels his lips upon the other and for a second Soobin was already hovering over Yeonjun, pushing his back against the bed.

"This is real, _I am real_."

Soobin's kisses were sweet and painfully slow,and it took them a few moments to pull away, both of them catching their breaths.

"Don't ever doubt me. I've told you this a thousand times and I will never get tired of reminding you." Soobin caresses his face. "I love you, Choi Yeonjun."

Yeonjun doesn't smile, doesn't say it back (yet). But he is happy.

Or to put it more clearly, relieved.

>>

/end

**Author's Note:**

> that ending was really abrupt im sorry lmfao


End file.
